I picked up running about four and half years ago, and I was finding a great balance between running and other forms of cardio and strength training. During spring 2010, when I was training for a half marathon, I developed tendinitis in both of my legs... While this derailed my training and affected my performance, it didn't stop me. It probably should have...but I'm pretty stubborn and competitive...so giving up on the race was not in my plan. Come to find out, my "condition" is somewhat common in women in their twenties, and my doctor said I might "grow out of it" when I hit 30. I honestly thought it would be sooner since I generally take pretty good care of myself...but sure enough, the tendinitis didn't seem to go away until this past fall right around my 30th birthday. By the spring, it seemed all the way gone...so I was thrilled!
I COULD RUN AGAIN! And run is what I did! I started training for my first run -- the Girls Just Want To Have Fun 5k -- in 3 years! I ended up getting a new PR (personal record, for you non-runner/non-athletes out there!), which was such a blessing! Since that race had gone so well, I signed up for an upcoming Night Trail run which was part of the same racing series (BCS Race Series) put on by the folks that run the BCS Marathon & Half Marathon. <<Side note: They put on FANTASTIC races with fun post-run parties, if you're in the market for a good run!>> I was really looking forward to running this race with several of my friends!
Now, rewind to about 3 weeks ago... I started having some on and off lower back pain. It seemed odd since I hadn't been doing any yard work, or moving/lifting, the usual things that trigger back pain. The pain lasted short periods some days and longer periods other days; there one day, and gone the next... Then, the pain started to persist. After about 4 days of consistent 24/7 pain and discomfort, several friends recommended I check-out a chiropractor. I had never been to a chiropractor before, but I decided anything was worth a shot!
Come to find out, I had been dealing with a twisted pelvis that caused some alignment issues for my whole body. Consequently, over time (we're not sure how long all of this has been going on), my spine curved slightly to balance out my would-be crooked shoulders (caused by the twisted/uneven pelvis). Due to the instability, my spine tried to "fix" itself by calcifying some of the vertebrae, and I have a bit of disc degeneration in my lower back and neck.
So, what does that mean for me? Well, it means that I have been out of the gym and out of activity (other than walking the dog) for about two and a half weeks...and I'll be out of commission for another 1 or 2 weeks, at least. I'm currently in the middle of week 2 of a 9-week treatment plan that starts out with several visits per week and will gradually taper off (assuming that I respond well to the adjustment and the therapies -- I'm getting roller bed, electro-, and trigger point therapies, currently).
You would be correct in assuming this has been a frustrating struggle for me. While I do NOT claim to understand what it's like to have a disability, I feel like I have a very small glimpse of what it's like to have to be limited by the physical ability of your body. I miss the gym; I miss my gym friends and instructors (shout out to my Sunday Pump'ers and my Monday CxWorx'ers); and I miss being able to sit, stand, lay down, walk, etc. without pain or discomfort.
That being said, I know that there is a potential for good to come from everything! And, while this isn't a fun post filled with photos and funny tales, it does have a purpose (yes, I know it took me a while to get here)... I know I can look at this experience from a "woe is me" perspective, but I choose not to. One of the reasons I wanted to write this was to let out the tension and stress of this burden so others can see that when tough stuff happens, there's always a bigger picture.
Right now, I am broken... I am not the self I want to be. When the reality of these words struck me the other day, I knew I had to share my store with others. Those statements can be said by all of us. We are ALL broken. We are ALL not the selves we want to be. If we're being really honest with ourselves, with know these statements to be facts. We see the signs and symptoms in our daily words and actions that display our brokenness, but we sometimes like to pretend that we'll be okay on our own...that we'll figure it out...
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." ~Romans 3:23~
And, the good news, and the really powerful fact is that God fixes us! He is the solution for our brokenness -- whatever that brokenness might be! He died for all of our brokenness...every single sin...and He wants us to live for His glory (not our own).
"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." ~2 Corinthians 12:9~
Doesn't that just fill you with hope and encouragement? What an awesome God we serve!! If we just let him treat the signs and symptoms of our brokenness, how much easier our paths would be!
The road so far hasn't been easy...and I know the next seven and a half weeks won't be either... But I have hope and I have faith that I will make it. I know that God is providing my doctor with the knowledge and compassion to treat me so that my body can be healed. I know He has been and will continue to encourage me with a positive outlook and attitude to get me through the upcoming weeks. Some days will be tougher than others. Some days I'll be in more pain that others. Some days I'll be so frustrated that I will cry about it (yesterday was one of those days). And, all of that...every single bit...is okay. Because He will give me supportive friends, family, co-workers, and students who will check on me, care about me, pray for me, make me laugh, and support me through all of the up's and down's. He will use this experience for his glory, and if he will allow me to be an instrument in his plan, then I'll gladly take that path -- I could always use a little toughening up anyway! :)
Personal Side Note to Anyone Reading This: If you have never been to a chiropractor or had x-rays taken to check on your skeletal alignment and the functioning of your muscles with your spine, I would HIGHLY recommend it. I am so lucky that I caught this when I did...but had I recognized the signs/symptoms sooner, I may have been able to treat the problem sooner. If you're looking for a place to go, I go to Campion Chiropractic; they take most insurance plans and are genuinely nice people.
It's easy to think we're healthy and "fine" when, silently, things are negatively affecting us physically. The same can be said for our spiritual health. I would love to chat with anyone who thinks their spiritual alignment could use some adjusting...or get you in touch with someone else who might offer a better perspective than me! :)
If you reached the end, thanks for reading. I know that was a lot to get through...but I really needed to share my heart today! Love to all of you!
No comments:
Post a Comment